Creating new habits, especially when you don’t want to

So much of disability and chronic illness is coming up with new ways to live your life. I wish I could tell you that it happens once, but change is truly the only constant. In my own chronic illness journey, I’ve created new habits around taking medication, movement, symptom tracking, medical test prep and so much more. Although many of these habits have helped me in the long run, I often had a hard time making the change.

After years of trying (and often failing) to just muscle through it and try to remind myself how important the habit was, or what I would gain in the long term as a means to make short term change, I was faced with a habit I could not make stick. I had a new medication I had to take four times a day, in a glass of water, 30 minutes before every meal and before falling asleep. In the doctor’s office it sounded simple, but I quickly learned that keeping up with this regimen would take a lot of work, especially among everything else I was juggling. I had to make sure I always had the liquid medicine on me, but it can’t be left in the car or it will overheat. When I went to friend’s houses for dinner, I had to ask when exactly we would eat so I could time my medication. Two weeks in, I had taken less than 50% of the doses I was supposed to take.

Earlier that week, I had been in an elementary school and was inspired by the tools some of the teachers used for student rewards. So I made myself a sticker chart. I got one sticker for each time I took my medication on time and if I took 25/28 of them at the end of the week, I would get a little treat.

It worked so so well. I would spend all week taking my medicine and thinking about what kind of treat I was going to get myself and then reveling in the fruits of my labor when I got to have one. My roommates got in on it and it often became a Sunday activity we did together, which made it all the more special.

The cognitive load of big change is intense. As a disabled person, a grieving person or as a person who is overwhelmed for any reason, figuring out how to make more change is hard. In the years since making my first chart for me, I have also made them for people who were struggling to go to class or work, people who needed to make more space for joy in their lives, or even grieving friends who wanted to remember to brush their teeth every day.

In my last post, I talked about my partner’s ongoing back issues. Thankfully, they’re up and about a lot more than they were two weeks ago, in large part because of how well she’s been taking care of herself. To continue that pattern, I made her a sticker chart to help celebrate when she does her PT and when she goes for a walk. These are all habits worth creating and celebrating for the work they take to create and sustain.

There are a lot of ways to track habits, but if you’re interested in something you can hang on the fridge or your bathroom mirror (or anywhere else you want) I made a sticker chart template for you! It’s free if you sign up for our email list. I would love to know how you use it!