12 things I know to be true today
One of my coworkers introduced me to an incredible activity a few years ago, when we were deep in our first pandemic winter. They are a phenomenal teacher and person and said this is an activity they do with their students, but also with themself to understand where they are. The activity is called "10 things I know to be true today" and the premise is simple. You write down 10 things you know to be true at this moment. In the past, mine have ranged from "I ate breakfast this morning" to "my dog is safe and healthy" to "I'm feeling the weight of grief today" and each time the collection of my responses has been highly illuminating.
As I approach the halfway mark in my coaching certification program, I wanted to share 12 things I know to be true about my coaching practice. I was aiming for 10, but all 12 felt important so here we are!
When I facilitate this activity with clients, I don’t offer categories, I just ask folks to make a list of whatever comes to mind first. But as I was reviewing my list, I realized they fell into four clear categories — building trust, working through resistance, facing mental models and encountering emotion.
Building Trust and Working Through Resistance
Through the nature of this exercise, I wrote these first and then got to reflect on the entire list, trusting that these things were important to be named in my coaching practice. In terms of building trust, a few main themes emerged. I want to be consistent as a coach through being dependable, ensuring my values are present and just being a person in sessions. Building trust allows me to work through resistance effectively, especially in acknowledging that both are embodied experiences and that resistance can tell us a lot about what is important and present for clients.
Facing Mental Models and Encountering Emotion
A few things clearly emerge looking at my lists of things I know to be true about mental models and encountering emotions. First, that sharing the language of mental models and being able to talk about them with my clients. Second, that it won’t be possible for me to do the kind of coaching I want to do without engaging deeply with emotions, not just thoughts.
I share this in depth example to show the value this activity can have for a client. The first level of value is the initial activity. What comes up immediately when you don’t judge what you know to be true? The second is the reflection on the list as a whole. What are the patterns? What is missing that I generally know to be true? Why didn’t it come up? What is loudest today? What is just a whisper?
This is a great exercise to do when you are feeling a little swirly, by which I mean you have a lot going on and you’re not sure what is the most salient right now. Regardless of what kind of thing you are moving through, I would encourage you to do this exercise if you are feeling tangled or like you have too many priorities. It's quick and so grounding. If you do it, what did you learn from your 10 things? How might it change what you do with your day? I would love to hear both any reactions you have to my list of 12 things I know to be true about my coaching practice today and any reflections that come up when you do the activity.
